Amidst Pain, I Found You

It hadn’t been that long when I realised what I was doing was totally out of bounds. But in these twenty-seven years of my existence, I had never felt so drawn to something. I crossed my favourite cafe. Suddenly, I craved for a jam filled croissant but moved on as I was already running late, he does take great offence when I don’t value his effort and time. But I thought he would like to hear what I had to say and called for an emergency meeting. There he was waiting for me at the bench dressed in his impeccable black suit. He kissed my cheek and grinned. Why was he happy? Did he have some good news too? I was confused and he saw right through me. ‘I can go back, love’ he said excitedly. ‘What?’ ‘Yes, I can go back now!’ He wasn’t able to sense my disbelief. That was his only problem. He didn’t care much when something good happened to him. I was shaken by the news. I couldn’t say anything when he finally said ‘Well, you called for this meeting, what happened love?’ 

I hesitated for a while, I didn’t want to say anything. How could I when he had already made up his mind to leave! 

‘Did I do something wrong?’ He said

‘Wrong! You are going back? You said you’d stay!’ 

‘You could join me?’ 

‘Are you insane!’

‘What? Its not so bad, its definitely better than here’ 

‘Its a fucking pandemic right now!’ 

‘Exactly why I am telling you to leave’

He did have a point. The reason why he landed in this position was because he had some unfinished business. Now, that was over, and he was ready to move on. When I realised this, I had empathy for him, I would have done the same. But was I willing to join him?

‘You need to give me some time’

‘Take all the time you want love, I just leave tomorrow’ 

‘What? Tomorrow?’ 

‘Yes, they say its some express ticket’

‘Wow, that’s big of them’

He gave a wry smile. We both paused, he knew I had a soft spot for him and he exploited that more than once. ‘Fine, I will go with you’ 

‘Really?’

‘Yes, you’re right. There is nothing here for me’

‘Brilliant, where do you want to do it?’

‘At home, anything else feels impersonal’

‘Any unfinished business? You know that fucking feeling doesn’t let you pass the gate’

‘No, I don’t think so’ But the moment I said so, I felt very uneasy like my insides was going to explode.  

‘Do you want me to be there?’

‘Of course!’ 

‘Great, I will see you at our time?’

‘Yes, thank you’ 

‘Anytime love’

I walked back home feeling worse, I convinced myself it wasn’t anything but it could be. So I went towards the hospital instead. The tests were happening till 2PM. After waiting for 40 minutes, my turn finally came. The fully clad attendant did a swab test and told me to wait for some time. Results were out in the next 30 minutes. ‘Your test is positive, prepare yourself, we will shift you in ward 3. The infamous ward 3 where all patients who stayed, died. This is it then. It was really happening. Delays led to me being placed in ward 3 at the end of the day. They gave me scrubs to wear and a repulsive meal to go with. I scanned the room, a middle aged man was there too with me. I looked at him and he looked at me. I had a feeling he too was about to leave, just like me. Surprisingly, the uneasy feeling was still there and I had no answer for it. Around midnight, the middle aged man left this shithole and exactly one minute after, he was standing next to me. 

‘Its not that bad you know’ he said.

‘Thank you, enjoy the ride’

He gave me a nod and vanished. They always did, except one. The one I fell in love with. Love works in mysterious ways for odd people. People like me could never be normal, we hated normal. Our lives meant seeing a lot of pain and for the past few months, I did see a lot of pain. Alas, my time had come. I greeted my corpse next morning. I had no family so there was no formality left. They wrapped myself in a thick plastic sheet. 

‘You look beautiful’ he had brought a dead rose. 

‘Thank you’ I said, it was our kind of humour.

‘You know, I always thought you’d die with wrinkles’

‘What made you think that?’

‘Your grandmother died very late’

‘You realise that her late death brought you to me’ 

‘I know, I saw you when you were like a tiny speck’

I smiled, he was crazy about me, I knew that. Imprinted on me when I was a baby and stayed because his destiny was to be with me. But recently he decided that his peace would come when  accepts our union in another life. The acceptance I believe was his express ticket. We walked to the gate, there were a long line. He held my hand and for the first time, it touched and didn’t just pass through. He was smiling uncontrollably, he had waited for this too long. We both entered at once and then transcended to another expanse. He was still with me. He face radiated and so did mine. 

Next thing we know, we were born, again. 

This time, to live.