The Abyss Known As Life
Life is what you make it, they say. Funny, I have never really understood what they meant by it. I seem to make it nowhere, except in safe solitude, I am a confident individual beaming with pride. I can blame others for not understanding me, I blame myself for being ignorant to details of my own being. Am I confused or in my fantasy driven mind, a mystery? Resoundingly, I am many things and not one specific mould. I don't want something specific but an array of things in life.
Life! What is this life? A glorious childhood fades into an abyss of self doubt and constant battle of self worth. From where I come from, confusion as a state of mind is a cause of concern. Neglect is not natural and ambitions are sometimes greeted with derision and disbelief. Basically, it's a conundrum. And that's why escapism strikes the best of us. It struck me, several times. Sometimes it fell in favour by sheer luck, and sometimes it dampened spirits to no extent.
In all of this, how does one return back to life? Life. I am beginning to detest the concept of it. In fact, if you search life meaning on Google, you see at the corner of the webpage a spiritual image to go with it. Glaring dawn in the background. I know dawn has poetic connotation, I am also aware that life comes with an asterisk in the form of choices. Life* is what you make it. These choices, we now have television (Bandersnatch) incorporating it. At first, it seemed like a path breaking concept. Now if I reflect back, its another set of questions I need to answer, another burden to my seemingly well settled, comfortable, normal life.
My escapism allows me to use this platform as a let out. I am driven by my own choice to write in the New Year, wasn't expecting the first post to be such hard hitting reality, but as I grow older and in the sixth year of blogging, I know that I am not anymore the person I used to be. But I ought to be good, if not better.
xo
vidushi
Life! What is this life? A glorious childhood fades into an abyss of self doubt and constant battle of self worth. From where I come from, confusion as a state of mind is a cause of concern. Neglect is not natural and ambitions are sometimes greeted with derision and disbelief. Basically, it's a conundrum. And that's why escapism strikes the best of us. It struck me, several times. Sometimes it fell in favour by sheer luck, and sometimes it dampened spirits to no extent.
In all of this, how does one return back to life? Life. I am beginning to detest the concept of it. In fact, if you search life meaning on Google, you see at the corner of the webpage a spiritual image to go with it. Glaring dawn in the background. I know dawn has poetic connotation, I am also aware that life comes with an asterisk in the form of choices. Life* is what you make it. These choices, we now have television (Bandersnatch) incorporating it. At first, it seemed like a path breaking concept. Now if I reflect back, its another set of questions I need to answer, another burden to my seemingly well settled, comfortable, normal life.
My escapism allows me to use this platform as a let out. I am driven by my own choice to write in the New Year, wasn't expecting the first post to be such hard hitting reality, but as I grow older and in the sixth year of blogging, I know that I am not anymore the person I used to be. But I ought to be good, if not better.
xo
vidushi
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