The Hopeless Romantic
‘You remind me of someone’ she said.
My throat went dry. Is
that the after effect of saying ‘I love you’? Or the fact that “I love you”
reminded her of someone who isn’t me.
‘I thought you never had anyone in your life’
‘Oh, you thought right. Never had anyone but somehow your “I
love you” is…typical’
Typical? No one told me that. What the f***?
‘I mean the way you did it. It reminds me of someone…’
I looked at myself; Roses. Check. On one knee. Check. Perfume? Burberry. Check.
What was it?
Turns out it was Hugh Grant from one of the Bridget Jones
movie.
And then, she stumbled upon a thought. A thought that became
my lovemare.
‘If you love me, find a way to express it that I wouldn’t
find in my movie collection’
Easy, when you hear it for the first time. Impossible, when
you find out whom you’re competing with. From Shahrukh, Salman and Aamir to Leo,
Brad and Hugh, she had them all. Packed in box of terabytes altogether.
Not in the slightest way I was going to party in her madness
but then it dawned upon me; I was already a part of it. In fact, I was it. I was in love with this girl. The
truth hurts. It hurts because I couldn’t give up on her neither could I have
someone else take her. I couldn’t pretend I’ll be fine without her. God, this is just so about her. Where is my narcissism? All my
selfies have her now.
This is not obsession, this is something worse. I look at her and she smiles, she smiles
whenever she knows I am angry, sad or just confused. I think she was born with
Aphrodite’s charm. She is not your type. Let me assure you that. She’s my type.
You won’t feel about her like I do. Trust me, you won’t. And if you do, I might
just have to take you down. Oh! Genius! That’s how I could express my love.
And then she made me watch Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.
I couldn’t believe that I lost to Imran Khan. He is simile for the biggest jinx on planet earth
having worked with the best actresses and delivering all flop movies. But she
wasn’t done yet. She smiled at me; giving me the perfect motive for murder. Can
murder express love? Thank god, she said no. And that too because it was
already done by Emran Hashmi. I owe
that man my life.
This game to express
was making me depressed. Maybe that convinces her. And then she made me watch
Devdas, bloody hell, Shahrukh nailed it. Even Abhay(Deol) did a better job than
I did.When all fails try suicide from the building, viola! Wait a minute- this
even I remember. Of course, veteran Dharmendar
in Sholay. If desi dudes were screwing me so bad, I dare not imagine my fate with the stars from Hollywood.
Finally, I came to one conclusion.
I couldn’t win her.
‘I can’t compete with your movies. I give up on you; my love
is not as strong as the six packed heroes with special effects. I hope you find someone better’
She smiled. Oh god, this is so bloody annoying.
‘Siri not available, please connect to the internet’
And maybe I have one more chance?
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